The Voices for Voices Podcast Episode 36 with Guest, Legends Recovery Center, Matthew Oakes
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who may have a an interest in that we're grateful today in today's episode
to be joined by Matt Oaks business development executive at Legends
recovery Matt thank you for joining us today thanks for having me absolutely uh
we were able to meet after or during a site visit just last week so real
grateful to be able to have you in studio to talk about your experience
your story and legends recovery do you want to just get into kind of maybe
the beginning of when things for you started to take maybe a downturn and
then we can work up to the high points yeah so yeah, I'm a person long-term recovery
I've not found it necessary to use a drink or a drug since May 22nd 2019. I'm
truly grateful for that day my life man when it started out I was uh
I grew up in a small town in southeast Kentucky if you ain't picking that up yet um
normal childhood I guess if you know your dad not being around
your mom doing the best she can to raise you and another kid is normal, but it felt real normal to me I didn't have any
problems I played Sports I've done really well and ah not really
well in school I've done okay in school and I always want to be the funny kid didn't know that that would come back
one day to be the sword to cut me to shreds trying to be the standout funny guy
so life went on and I never was comfortable with my mom having another guy around it just bothered me
you know I wanted to be the man that I wasn't able to be you know I was a six seven-year-old kid, but I felt like I was
the man of the house so life went on and my mom met a guy and I've done ran off probably 10 guys you
know they didn't want a bad kid around so she finally meets this guy and he was he was willing to deal with me man
and how I don't know like it was it was a bad it was a bad day for him but he ended up marrying my mom and uh
you know he was a successful business owner, and you know we came from nothing we had nothing at all and but we
got by so you know it kind of put me into a different lifestyle with him and I still we still butted heads forever but it um
you know that's kind of where my if I'm while looking back now I can see
that that's where I was attention seeking like you know I probably qualified for a 12-step program way
before I was ever took the first drink you know because I needed that attention I needed more and more and more
and I remember the very first time I drank alcohol needed my mom wasn't a drinker he wasn't a drinker but for
whatever reason there was a there was a case of Miller Light in his trunk hot it would've been there for however long
and me and my stepbrother we opened one up and drank it and it was horrible the taste was just how anybody
could drink that I never could guess, and I'll never forget that day and I remember the neighborhood I lived in I
would tell the kids like yeah, I drank a beer and you know that attention that I was
getting from that was what I was missing like that was it I'd arrived and you know life didn't go straight
you know down a bad path at that point you know I was 10 11 years old and got in the smoking pot you know a typical
story and again it wasn't something I was crazy about I didn't like the feeling I didn't like the effect I didn't like the
taste but I loved the attention that it brought I wanted to be the guy that stood out I didn't want to put in the
work but I wanted the attention you know there was kids that was super smart in school, and they got attention but they
put in the work to become super smart and I just wasn't willing to do that so life kind of it took off from
there you know I'd like seventh grade I got caught with some pills at school and like I said I was a great kid like
it wasn't like I stayed in trouble but when I done stuff wrong I got caught you know okay and um
so I got caught with these pills got kicked out of seventh grade my mom was just distraught she didn't know what she
had done wrong she'd raised me the best she could and where I'm from the way it says spare the rod spoiled
chat that was in effect there like that my parents would beat you to death so she thought maybe she'd done
something wrong that she had was too hard on me wasn't hard enough on me and
and all it was I was craving this attention that it was deeper than I knew what it was you know this this father
figure that I wasn't willing to let anyone in to be is something that I was craving that I needed and didn't even
know I needed it and so you know it kind of It kind of slowed down after that because
you know I was getting so much trouble it just wasn't worth it anymore at that point and um
so I'd kind occasionally you know I'd occasionally drink at parties and it wasn't it wasn't a problem it never
you know took me to a bad place and then I got married and would you know still kind of have a beer or two after
work wasn't no big deal and you know that was as far as it would go
and then I got a divorce well my wife was kind of like my mom she was very
strict one of those people and so I was I guess I was kind of nervous to do anything other than that around either
one of those two so I'd I got divorced from her and it was just like this sense of Freedom that I
didn't have anyone like a chaperone anymore and uh
so I experimented I was at a bar, and I was drinking with a friend and like I
said I've always liked that that Spotlight that attention of being that guy and guy said have you
ever tried cocaine and if I can't say no you know I can't be that guy and I was like yeah I love it I'd never even seen
it before and so he ends up you know going to getting some cocaine and that's whenever
the spiral kind of started and it still wasn't out of control at this point it was still fun we were partying
we could party longer no trouble had come at this point really
and then I got introduced to Oxycontin and it was still kind of a recreational
thing it wasn't something that I was crazy about the cocaine and the drinking I you know
fell in love with that but the Oxycontin was just something to do for whatever reasons and I remember the first time
that I tried to quit and my body was just in pain you know and I
felt this feeling that I was like I feel like I have freaking cancer like something's wrong with me and my buddy
said you're dope sick and I was like what do you mean yeah I was like I've not even done no drugs all along he's like you've been doing those pills like
crazy he's like try go get one try it see if it helps and it did and I think at that
moment I was like man I better leave those alone but little did I know this had a hold of me that like nothing ever had like it
just took something and just like filled it inside of me and I had no idea that
that was you know it was doing that and so that progressed to me this is when
all the pill clinics were going on in Florida you know that you know the pain clinics all that was going on so I'd um
I found myself that if you sell drugs you always have friends and that's it you've always have the
you're the party the people are there they're going to stay there until the drugs are gone so I never wanted to run
out of drugs so I'd I started going back and forth to Florida and you
know going to the pain clinics taking people to pain clinics getting their pills blah blah blah and um
then I got started getting them in the mail you know it was aspiring so fast that I didn't know what to do and I was
it wasn't like I was stealing for you know the drugs or I wasn't going without I was doing better than I'd ever done
you know I was making a lot of money but I was feeding this habit that I didn't know one day would just destroy
everything about me and so it progressed into you know I was
getting pills shipped to me through the mail for a couple years one day I'd got a package supposed to be
delivered two days before Christmas FedEx calls me and says that
FedEx calls and said that my package is at the headquarters because they couldn't find my address due to a new
blah blah blah so I go over there to pick up this package and when I pull
into the parking lot my intuition tells me to leave there's something not right about this place and I look around the
parking lot I see like seven Dodge Durango’s that doesn't have snow on them the same color
all the other cars were covered in snow except for these seven identical cars and I was like ah maybe it's not that
maybe you all Drive drinks so I go inside and the girl's trying to shake her head
no like you need to leave still the drugs have control at this point you know there was no telling me any
different and she's over like nodding her head to leave and the guy comes out
of the back room and asks for my ID and I give it to him everything's smooth and
I get in the car and I drive about two miles down the road and I'm swarmed by the FBI oh my gosh and um
so at this point I'm my stomach drops I don't know what to do the girl that I was with you know I
have her kid in the back seat and so you know being the smart thinker I am
I try to you know come up with a real quick solution well like I said I was going to the doctors down there and back
and forth so I always had a prescription that was valid God was prescribed these pills
and so I've you know got this plan in my head I'm good so in Kentucky is the Commonwealth you
know down there so if they come after you down there they've got you but for whatever reason I can talk myself almost
out of this I think and I tell the cops look here's my prescription I left my prescription in Florida my friend mailed
it to me here's how many pills are in here and by the grace of God there was close to that many pills in there and um
so they held me there and questioned me for a few hours they called her she came and got the kid and um
and at that point right there I was like what am I doing like where is my life going and um
so I thought you know I got away with it they let me go and little did I know they were waiting for me to build my own
case and so I ended up getting some more trouble called another charge down in
Tennessee drug related and ended up doing three years down in Tennessee
the car trade in Tennessee and it was that was the first time I'd ever been arrested it was just it blew my whole
family away you know the charges it was just it was insane and so I ended up thinking that all that
was over with because I was down there for three years never heard anything I get out and I'm out for about four months and my mom calls me and says the
FBI just left my house they're looking for you wow and I was like are you kidding me it's been like five years
yeah and so in the state of Kentucky the FBI has five years to indict you the
state there is no statute limitations they can indict you at any time well at five years the feds had to turn the case over
to the state so they can indict me so they came back after me after five years and I called another you know they gave
me trafficking control substance so I went back to in Kentucky I was
locked up for almost five years I just couldn't get I'd get out you know I'd make parole I
made parole after like two and a half three years was out for a little bit went right back and then but I had every
intention in me to stop using drugs like I went to this sap program substance
abuse program inside incarceration if you've got prison sense you can go to this program six months I've you know
done great in there and had no intentions on ever doing drugs again I get out
I go to a halfway house which the halfway house was it was
perfect for me low rent my parents had finally given up on me they I wasn't allowed to around Christmas holidays
that was a no-go for me and my stepdad hadn't talked for five six years and then um
he's actually a cop or was so I get I'll go to this halfway house
and I'm doing great there and I feel like I can outsmart the program I go to I go to AAA meetings I tell
them I've got two years sober which I didn't you know I was using the entire time I was in there and I get out and I've I'm lying
about being sober I'm trying to outsmart the director in this program and I end up relapsing and um
it didn't take long of course I took this girl hostage you know that's why I called my girlfriends back then was
hostile because it was no relationship at all you know I was just talking into doing horrible things and so me and
this girl we end up moving in together we get an apartment get kicked out of the apartment I'm homeless at this point
I'm you know I don't even know anybody at this town that I'm living in I'm just so happy I found some people that would
let me stay on their couch and it was just then then I couldn't end up living in a tent out in the out in the woods
for about three months but it was just like I was so far deep into this into
this drug habit I started doing crystal meth and it just it took me to a whole nother
level of lows like it was just I was okay with being homeless living in a tent I was okay with doing almost 10
years in prison you know in and out of jails rehabs like I was okay with that like it was just I got so comfortable in
uncomfortable situations and it's just disturbing to look back today like man you were homeless
dude living in a tent and you would invite people over you know what I mean I would invite people over to my team like come hang
out house and like it's mind-boggling now to think that that was okay like, and people would come give me
they'd just sit there on my air mattress would sit around do drugs and it was it was so acceptable that
it's just disturbing and so I ended up you know homeless again and I'm at a guy's house and just so
happened the cops show up and there I am and there's drugs there
and of course I get to blame for everything and they'll take six of us to jail and everybody's getting out but
me and another me and the guy that owns the house and they ended up coming at me with some crazy deals and I'd turn them down and
they would put me off for another year so I sat in jail for a little over a year fighting this case and they
ended up giving me three years’ probation and this time man I'm thinking like
I'm really done I'm good I'm not going to use drugs and this guy comes in jail like three days before I go to court and
to get you know the probation whatever he brings drugs in the jail and I could not say no
I could not look him in the eye he's like you want some of this like the first words the first thought came
straight to my mouth yeah sure absolutely and that was May 21st and my mom's
birthday is on May 22nd and so that night I was just you know being
an idiot and all I could think about was what if they drug test me before I go, I'm screwed yeah and so I was
like I was freaking out I was paranoid and I called my mom that next morning
on her birthday as soon as the phones come on I've been awake all night and so I call her she's not answering the
phone so I call her all day long she's not answering the phone and like I just sit over there in my bunk I'm like it's my mom's birthday
and she won't even answer the phone for me and the reason that is because I'm
she knows I'm sitting in jail probably getting high like it just everything just weighed on me at that point May
22nd and I was like Matt you've got to stop like you have got to stop this is this
is going to kill you like if you get back out you can't figure this out you're screwed and so these people came and talked
to me about going to our Treatment Center it was like 28 days and I was like no don't let me out of here
until you can get me somewhere for at least six months four to six months or I'm not leaving yeah I cannot do a 30
day or a detox I can't do it so they end up coming back with a place called Volunteers of America which was a
it wasn't ideal you know it wasn't an ideal place you had bunk beds they were hard you woke up early you know you
done chores it was just it was not the place that anybody else would just volunteer to go but I was
grateful that it was a long-term treatment that I had time to get myself together and not only that I had time to figure
out what I'm going to do when I get out because I see a lot of times I would go
to these 30-day treatments and then I would get out and I would just be ready to take over the world and then guess
what I didn't learn anything I learned how to not use drugs at that moment so
at this four year or four to six month program I go in there and I'll keep my head down and I'll stay focused
I do what I'm supposed to do I don't get in any trouble I'm learning about me and then you know and it got to
the point to where I was getting ready to get out I'm like look I've got a few other things that I need to get set up before you just let me go right
and they had never even heard of somebody saying something like that like I can't leave here until I have
everything in place I'm not walking out these doors without a place to go or without a job like I'm not doing that I
know what that does for me and I hated it took me so long and I wish I could get through to people like it over at
our place in Legends like if I can just get through to you and explain to you without you having to go through it
would be amazing but a lot of people have to live through it I know I was one of those people so I'd um
I'd I got all my ducks in a row and I was going to go to this place called Oxford House and um
I didn't know a whole lot about it I just knew it was really nice houses a couple of my friends that went there but I done some research on it and it said
like 87 percent of the people that stayed in Oxford House for a year or longer would stay successful and I was
like man that's a huge number that is like they're telling me in this treatment center that I have a two percent chance to make it
two percent is not a very big percent you know what I mean like it's just not very the other way but I don't have very good odds like because I was in there
with some people that probably wasn't going to make it I was in there with a lot of people that looked like they were really going to make it so me being one
of those two percent was slim to none so I was like eighty-seven for a year I don't have anywhere else to go let's see
what's up so I go to this I get finally get out two weeks later and I go to this Oxford House and I'm
like where's the case manager somebody I need to talk to and they're like it's us it's a complete self-run self-supporting
there was no authority figure in the house and I was like this ain't gonna work this ain't gonna work for me and um
so the minute I start getting a little loose and you know thinking about whatever I was thinking about doing my
peers pull up on me and they're like look brother you ain't doing that here oh and they were going to kick me out I was gonna be homeless had nowhere else
to go yeah so, I just get I had to get my act together so I'm attending like you know five six meetings a week I'm walking to work
doing what I'm supposed to do I'm paying my rent and then you know six seven months go by and I'm helping other
people I'm helping other houses these Oxford houses I'm helping them get off the ground I'm helping them you know learn the model whatever that taught me
and then a year comes by and you know it dawned on me like I've been here a year I've not stayed this sober in
a long time like I'm not just clean you know I'm in I'm working a program of recovery I'm helping people I'm getting
I'm seeing you know the things that I've that I've put all the work that I've put into it I'm finally seeing you know fruit
from it and so I worked there I lived there for about a year and they came to me it's
like look would you like a job you know with Oxford House and I was like absolutely you know this stuff this place saved my life
so I got involved with Oxford House I moved to Dayton Ohio and um
life at that point you know I still didn't have a driver's license I still had you know fine I had to pay and I
lied to my work to tell them that I had a driver's license and all this just to get the job but I'd had a car
a little nice car that I finally got for my buy here pay here and paid way too much money for
and I was driving down the road and it just hit me I was sober about a year
and a half and it just this I don't know just overflowing of just
gratitude came over me and I was like I'm not just clean you know I'm not I
I'm living a sober life it's not like I'm in a treatment center or I've got like you know
people over top of me making sure I'm doing this I'm doing this by choice and
it was just so I was just so grateful for that opportunity to feel that at that moment so I you know I continued opening Oxford
houses throughout the state of Ohio and it led me to meet Nate Kelmar and uh
turned out to be one of my you know best friends we started golfing together and he
came to me one day and he was like you know what would it take for you to come work for me at Legends and I was
like you ain't you didn't get me from Oxford House you know this is my life and but I did notice like the people
that were coming to Oxford House wasn't getting this treatment that I that I would like to see people get you know it
was like 30 days all right what kind of insurance you got all right let's we can't bill for that you can't do that we can bill for that you can do that and it
was just disturbing to me to the point like I was seeing people get out and they didn't even they didn't even have
an ID they didn't have any kind of plan of what they were going to do they were moving to this Oxford House with no
job no thoughts of a job it's just like well who's going to pay for this for me you know and it was just and that's
what I want to see with Legends we'll get to that in a second so I started hanging out with Nate and he asked me
you know what he would take so the more we talked the more I thought about it and you know I wanted to move forward in the career that I wanted
and so I came on with Nate at Legends recovery and came at the ground you know it
was ground level we had to end up building the place me and another guy Corey the
instructor at the detox so we ended up building this place and you know I
can Envision it though you know while we were building I could just see us helping other people and it was just it
was just an amazing feeling thinking that people are going to come in here just hopeless
and they have an opportunity while they're here to change that and I don't just say it because I read about it in a
book I say it because I've done it you know I don't tell you because I think I tell you because I know it
and the thought of seeing those people change their lives whether they
do or not they may not be one person be successful but if one does it was worth
it and all I could think about was just seeing people get reunited with their families just you know it was just
an overwhelming feeling then we have the outpatient facility that we just opened and that's another step you know
that's we have housing you know that'll give them that extra 30 days to figure out what they're going to do next
and like I said nobody may get any of it but if one person
can get reunited with their family and never touched a drug again how amazing and um
yeah man that's kind of my summary how I got two legends um
I'll I guess I'll explain what Legends is so we are a Medicaid detox in
Green Springs Ohio we're outside of Fremont we're a 40 bed male and female Medicaid detox for the first few months
we were commercial due to Medicaid issues but now we can take Medicaid and
we have the PHP IOP an outpatient program here in Maple Heights with housing and our housing is under
renovation right now but within the next six months to a year we should have close to 65 beds
available for men and women recovery yeah, it's moving quickly it's a whole lot
faster than I thought it would and I'm excited I'm excited to help people yeah
having been through numerous processes in and out
can you maybe stress maybe again or reiterate
how important not only the detox is but then getting the treatment and then
having that opportunity to figure things out you gave the example the other day
about you know hey I want to I want to be a truck driver and you're like do you have your CV I'm driving a truck and
you're going through all the steps can you just explore just the process how important that is what you're doing it's super important for these to detox
obviously but that's only abortion that's the very first of it like I had my choice was
detox in jail there was really not a whole lot of choice the resources you have today like you can go to places like
Legends recover with your own TV it's you know it's kind of awkward for me to even think that that's available to for
people you know like me but it is and that right there's a spot for you to just lay down not have your phone not
talk to your parents not talk to your kids you know and I hate to sound like that but the kids have got to be to the
side right now you are no good to those kids and it should let them heal for a little bit that's seven to ten
days for you to just work on you to get your body halfway functioning right but
it don't stop there you need at least another 30 to 60 days to focus on what you're going to do next
because the circle is you go to detox you go to some sort of Residential
Treatment then guess what you get right back out of your house so there's got to be a whole lot of
planning in between that Circle or guess what you're right back at the same spot the same people you that you left that
that sold you the drugs that made you want to go to rehab are still waiting right there if you don't have a plan in
action you're doomed know what you want to do don't just go
to your case manager's office every Monday and say oh yeah man things are great I want to be a CDCA I want to be a
peer support have realistic expectations have short-term and long-term goals and
meet those goals don't try to get the long-term goal before you get the short-term goal work those goals
yeah have a plan for sure it's very important yeah that was one of the
the things that blew me away was except that whole that whole circle there's not
pieces missing and while like I said if you can reach one person and have that
reunited feeling with the family but you're giving them the opportunity so regardless of that they walk in they
have that full circle opportunity it's up to them whether they kind of go through that but what you're offering is
that full circle you're not just offering just the detox or just the
treatment and between and then additional time you have that all and I think that's something
that I don't say it's unheard of but it's very Innovative I'm glad you're doing it I know with my I had
five day impatient stay at hospital and then I went to some group therapy
I have very supportive of family but I didn't have and maybe because I had
the supportive family and they were with me and I was afraid to drive so like my parents are driving me because but it's
like real like people go wait you're afraid to drive like yeah like I was on the way to dinner with my at that
time fiancé I was blacking out because I wasn't eating enough food because my body was telling me that I was allergic
to food because I had all these guilt and shame things in my head and all
these dominoes and so to have all and so I wasn't kind of given that opportunity
to have that full circle so I in a way I had to work through things so yeah the
medication yeah that might work the therapy part that might work but where
do you want to go what do you want to do after it's like you're going to school you're getting your education you want
to be an attorney okay have you done an internship well you're still out there you know what an internship is exactly
yeah it's huge to have realistic expectations you know and I'm not I'm not
bashing on anybody for the lifestyles that they choose not or how they choose it but if you if you come in and you
want to be a lawyer you may want to make sure you have the clothes
to be a lawyer if you don't get you a job they will pay you enough to get you at
least one suit a tie and go into wherever it is that you're applying for and see go in and
just look at the place see how everybody else is dressed dress like them if you want if there's somebody that you
want to be like dress like them act like them it's that simple
and even so on that point you're gonna you have a spot where you're gonna
have clothing your own donation available where people are going through so it's not just talk in the talk you're
actually like oh okay you're going through the process you're checking the boxes that you need you need that suit you might need that pants
who we had we've had so many people come in and do tours and every almost every
single group that's came in and we told them about the clothing Clause that we're going to do has volunteered to
give us as many clothes as we need like they said we have an abundant amount of dress clothes nice clothes that you can
have those the resources are out there it's when I get lazy
when I don't reach the resources like I don't reach out to people that will help me it's because I'm lazy I don't want to
go out and get it you know and that's that came natural to me just be like it's a whole lot easier to be a loser
than it is a winner it's so much easier to sit back and be like I don't feel like doing that I don't want to go to
work today you know it's I just want to play Xbox I just want to lay him but it's so much easier to do that
but recovery is not hard recovery is not the easiest thing I've ever done but it's not hard I lived in a tent
yeah I lived in a tent it is not hard and you were inviting people I was inviting people I had a nightstand in my
tent you know what I mean I lived in that tent it's just so crazy when I hear people
say man it's so hard your life wasn't bad enough if this is hard your life wasn't bad
enough go get another taste it gets worse I promise you
but I got to be careful saying stuff like that to people today because the drugs today is killing everyone yeah you know you could be smoking weed and have
fentanyl in it it's crazy that people would even consider doing this you know
I kind of I don't know if you remember there's a fair like a County Fair they would have this bike that the steering
wheel wasn't connected and the wheel would just kind of turn you had to try to ride it across it's almost
impossible and I kind of compared that to like the drugs these days it's like I wouldn't try to ride that bike down
the street oh you know it's going to kill you yeah and but I see people every single day I've got I'm working
with a guy right now me and my fiancé have been working with this guy he just will not get it he's overdosed like four
times last week just so happen he's smart enough to do it around places that'll find him you know he overdose at
Kroger you know just he they find him just random places overdosed and um
people just cannot see that man it's just so crazy like I'm not gonna go jump off a bridge that doesn't have water
under it that's what you're doing you're jumping off a bridge onto a train track you know it's it it's mind-blowing
to me that that's even that's even a problem is the opioid epidemic like it's
killing everyone Everything You Touch has fentanyl in it and it will kill you um
so yeah it's a it's a different world thank God I got out before it got this bad yeah uh
so being incarcerated what were some like the learnings because you're
it sounds like you had that drive for the attention and I know I have too and when I was when I was born my
my late Grandpa we call it Grandpa Lighthouse he was in a white house but he would say I mean I don't remember
how old I was but he's like oh do you have a girlfriend and he's like you know when you were born how they had the
room set up there must have been like I was like the only boy baby and then I was like girls around so he just like
took that and went with it as far as you know how are how are you doing
and you know do you have a do you have a girlfriend you know with the drugs there is that if a person just
thinks yeah there's fentanyl in it whether there is or not that's probably easier said than done what do you
say to somebody that has gotten in trouble that wasn't Carson what are maybe like some of the
the learnings besides like don't do it that you got like somebody maybe you know so yeah I see what you get we
talked about that I forgot we'd had the conversation too so there was a guy that was in there I was incarcerated with and he was telling me and you know when
he was in a gang you know in a white supremacist gang and I remember just talking to him a lot
because he you know he'd been doing this a long time and where I was when I was getting out he would come in and he would uh
you know he just always had so much wisdom you know I didn't agree with you know his a lot of their beliefs but I
would listen to him because he was so you know he was just on point with everything and he said Matt if you get out of here and do the exact same thing
that you've done to get in here you're coming right back and I was like I don't know what to do like
how I didn't you know I wasn't that bad of a person I didn't feel like and he's like you got to change
everything he's like you've changed since you've been in here you become a criminal he's like your demeanors
changed he said you come in here this happy-go-lucky kid that was just you know just amazed at how this stuff works
and he's like and now you're fighting you're you know you're becoming you're becoming somebody you don't want
to be and he told me one word to change and it
kind of set off a spiral and it was like if you can if you can change the word police in your vocabulary to cop or
police officer he said you've got a good start at it and it didn't make sense to me at first you know and I wish I
would have listened to all the stuff that he had said but I didn't until it was too late
and I was sort of thinking like what all was it that he said because everything he told me was coming true because I wasn't listening and um
that was one thing I remembered and if you'll notice like people that are in trouble a lot they
say police is here I'm gonna call the police you know what I mean like that's what that's the phrase that
you hear a lot I guarantee you that girl in there doesn't say police I guarantee she says
police officer that's what and that's what we're supposed to do and so I tried to change everything about my vocabulary
how I handled myself I try not to curse a lot I've done really good on this you've done awesome no I don't think
it's a one case and that's I had to picture my mom in the room she's never heard me because baby three
times a few minutes I knew she may watch this
so yeah man I just changed everything about the way I handle myself the way I the way I treat other people
it's the Golden Rule man treat other people the way you want to be treated and that's kept me out of trouble I
drove by Toledo used to I would drive by jails and I would look at it I'm like I bet I'll know what it looks like inside I would like play it back to myself like
I remember driving by here thinking I wonder what it looks like inside there and then when I moved to Toledo and
opened the auction house there I drove by the jail and I was going there to you know
Network Market whatever talk to somebody and I said I'll never see the inside of one of those cells and man another
feeling of just overwhelming happiness just filled me you know I'll never see
the inside of that jail and I won't as long as I don't do drugs or pick up a drink I've never been in trouble for anything
else drinking and drugs have been always been the key to my problems so yeah I'll never see the inside of
that jail and I'm grateful for it yeah, the feeling that you would go with substances that euphoric that high
whatever that feeling versus that you're talking about the Gratitude and into helping others the feeling you get of
saying you know if I can help one person how is similar or different are those feelings it's a different feeling
I kind of you know I kind of I don't know how to explain the feeling
I kind of refer to the feeling of the Euphoria the drugs like whenever you
would do it was kind of like you're driving down a road you know it's pouring the rain and you drive under an
underpass and that moment of silence you know that that one moment that's all
you get but that it's just all the rain stops and then you’re you know your windshield wipers start squeaking for a
second yeah that moment right there is what they what they felt like to me
and then it starts raining again and then it's you know chaos all over again but with the gratitude that I feel for
helping people or you know seeing me in the mirror like yeah I've gained 100
pounds so what you know but just seeing me be me
you know it's just it's unbelievable that feeling you know and just knowing where I came
from knowing where this person is right now and where he could be in in five years like I don't
I don't I don't know how to explain its two completely opposite feelings but I can see you know they
could be the same but it's a whole lot longer of a feeling helping people than it is put a needle in my arm
absolutely the trying to think of how actually the
lived experience what you do what we do helping others how important do
you think that is for I mean not only Legends but just somebody who is thinking that that's what they want to
do it and they're like you know what I don't I don't have that degree yet uh
you know they're working on it and they're like but I got you know these 20 years of this type of lived experience I would
love to say that I that I went to college for four years graduating from UK I'd love to say that I never stepped
a foot in college I make more money than I could probably would have ever made if I would
have went to college probably our executive director Nate he didn't go to
college he started as a tech and a rehab you know checking beds and now he's
executive director of two huge facilities or both of our Ops directors are in
recovery 80 percent of our staffs in recovery with multiple years Nate's gonna
celebrate 15 years he's going back to the detox to talk to the residents there like it's possible
I'm not saying don't go to college I would definitely if you can do it I just missed so many years that it wasn't uh
it probably still could be an option if I if I wanted to do it but I think it's very important for the
people to be in recovery that you're working with it's not that I
that people don't respect the people that aren't in recovery but the first it's just like a bad kid you know you
ain't my daddy you don't you ain't never done this before you don't know what I'm going through and yeah you ran out a book I hear it so much but I mean I
respect counselors and therapists that don't go that don't live this that still want to be involved with helping
people it blows me away that God makes people that way you know I had to work a 12-step
program to be able to help other people you know to even want to help other people to see that my selfishness is
what kills me so I need to help somebody else and there's people out here that want to do it just to help other people
and they went to school because their dad used to beat their mom because of
his drug use or his alcoholism no they don't know what we go through and they're still here to help you
yeah they didn't live through this lifestyle and still pick this line of work to help other people that don't
have to go through it anymore it blows me away I think it's important to have some lived experience but I think it's
also important to have people that that doesn't know step by step and are still involved in helping
people it just it's amazing I love it yeah as an instructor at a college and
helping students not just get through the book part of the class but bringing
as much experiential learning that lived experience and I find that more students remember those experiences that I talk
about they're not going to remember okay here here's the definition because they're just going to Google that when
they get out but they're going to be like you know what I've had this professor and use purse organization and
they you know he went to Poland to help refugees from Ukraine or whatever the
story is those are the things they're going to remember and that's why I think having
that lived experience and it's not the end-all be-all but you you're bringing that you're having a
conversation like you said it's like okay well have you been through that you're telling me to do this you know are you just talking about the book have
you done it yeah and I think that's awesome, and I think that personal branding regardless of if somebody does
go to college or goes for the trades or whatever their journey is to you're you
still have that personal brand your personal brand for going like after college is I went to college and hear
things I learned here's my portfolio and here's my volunteer experience and then somebody like yourself immediately
having some of that lived experience you're bringing that to the table that's your personal brand and that's not a
bad thing it's huge you have that regardless of who you are where you path you go yeah; I don't think I would have
changed it I really don't I share you know like I said I'm involved in AAA and
you know I share about that in a meeting like I don't know if I would go back and not have lived the life only lived I really don't like it when I
say I'm a grateful recovering alcoholic and drug addict I'm grateful I am grateful for the path that that God seen
fit whatever it may be whatever the reason that I've went through all the things that I went through there was a
reason for it and if it's helping you know hundreds of people men and women get back with their children and live
another day and then I'm grateful I went through it yeah that's amazing because uh
yeah and that's what just helping one person you know you're not just helping
really that one person it's all the people around them too it's like rubbing that person it's attractive yeah and it's like oh my gosh and then it's
attractive and people say like oh my gosh like he went through it she went through it but they're coming out on the
other end yeah it might take 10 years it might take two years it might take six months everybody's different but you can
you can't have that you can't get out of it, and you can't have fun you still can have fun and yeah, you're
spending your energy on helping and those types of things versus and it's not just like I stay in an AAA meeting
I just stay here with my nose in the corner and think all right what am I going to do next I can't be I can't be
sober yeah right, I have a me and my fiancé we travel almost every weekend we
go somewhere where we do something every single night you know we never sit at home
yeah, I go to meetings till they saved my life but we're going camping down in Hocking Hills at the last weekend we
started not to do Christmas with each other we're just going to go on a vacation you know like yeah it's I just don't drink or do drugs you know
I don't wake up with a hangover I don't worry about if it's got fentanyl in it you know what I mean like I just live life yeah and um
yeah it's amazing man so Legends recovery can you maybe
summarize for the audience again just you know what Legends is what are
the offerings in this episode will be Aaron in a month or two so some of the more of the
services some things might be coming online by that point yeah so hopefully um
hopefully, there's beds available in March you know it's taken off really fast we our detox like I said
with seven day detox and then we have the option to go to uh
it's medically detoxed you know it's a taper before you leave as of right now the Legends Treatment
Center here in Greensburg or Maple Heights is supplicate only supplicate Vivitrol
we're not going to do any kind of mat other than that as of right now
if you just say what mat is for somebody it might not medically assisted treatment they are medically assisted recovery I guess they call it now uh
which I'm you know I support that whatever keeps you sober whatever keeps you from stealing from your parents are alive
so yeah, we have an amazing therapist there now he's going to be doing the is the EMDR
and I've seen that really crack a lot of people man it's
an amazing program and he's an amazing guy and real looking forward to that we'll have art therapy we're at
music therapy we're gonna have a gymnasium you know weights the treadmills it's a big facility we
have a whole lot of room to fill a whole lot of space yeah it's a yeah when you're showing us
around each room it's just like oh my God yeah we could do yoga we could do we have the space and it's more of what
what else can we do instead of where you can't do that you can't do that so we're open to any kind of you know
outside you guys are talking about maybe coming in and helping out with some groups or Rebecca was we're looking we're looking forward to working with
anyone you know we're just now getting it off the ground and the future's bright I know that and I
can't wait to see what it holds yeah so how can people get a hold of Legends
you so they can call my number it's 419-509
get my purse yeah we can put in the show notes you say we give a call and
then it's 419 -455-5009 or you can call the office
at 419-34 I can't I don't know you don't have to I gave my personal can
you edit that we won't put that in the show yeah so yeah just put the first number there okay
419-455-5009 yeah that's the number okay yeah that's what you're
comfortable with so what are you I said what are you the happiest about with Legends with
where you're at in life of where you've come from you've you really had that a brand new day in the it's a brand new
days it's day after day because I couldn't pinpoint what the you know what the you know
greatest moment you know what I mean like it's just and that's good yeah because it's just ongoing and I'm not saying like life's great every single
day it's not you know I deal with tragedy I deal with friends dying I
deal with family members dying I just live a normal life and it just
gets better and better every day some days not as good as the next one
maybe but life gets better every day you know coming up on four years sobriety and um
everybody says oh you're on a pink Cloud if a pink Cloud lasts four years keep it going keep it going that's the
pink Cloud I'm okay with it but yeah life's been rough I've had
I've had moments where I've thought that you know a drink sounded like a good idea I quickly talked myself out of it
obviously but yeah there's days man it's just um
overwhelmed with gratitude there's days that I'm sad but I get up and I do what I did yesterday I stay sober
another day and then tomorrow all that stuff that was bothering me the day before is gone yeah so I couldn't really
pinpoint what the greatest moment is and its ongoing and it's not like
my life really it gets better every single day like it really does
I try to do the next right thing I try to help people when they need I try not to be so selfish and egotistical I
try not to yeah but you know I'm a guy and I golf I picked up golf last year
not that good but I like to play yeah its, but I would have never dreamed
of me playing golf you know what I mean it's just like all those things that I used to see people do like man I wish I
had a car or man I wish I had a place to live or man I wish I did that I'm doing
it you're doing it you know now look at me and say man I'm glad I'm me you know what I mean it's just you know I
still have people that that inspire me but there ain't nobody I'd rather be today you know I don't look at somebody and
say I wish I was them I'm glad I'm me I'm inspired by a lot of people that I
try to like you know stay in their footsteps you know Nate for instance you know he's a I look up to him and uh
you know one day I want somebody to do the same to me but right now I'm comfortable with me
yeah, I'm happy to be me well it was it just came to my what was it like
when you went from calling your mom on her birthday not picking up to, I take
her out to eat today yeah used to I would always go over and she would always I would always make her pay for the food yeah and that was a one of the
first times I did that not just two Christmas three Christmases ago two Christmases ago was
the first time I was able to come back around and like I said my stepdad was a cop he ended up passing away and um
right before he passed away we were making men's with each other and just so happened he wasn't be able to be
there for that Christmas but I got to go back and I was I was I was able to buy gifts for my family I got stressed out
over it though yeah super overwhelmed and I took my mom out to eat and
like I'll pay for her food sometimes and it's just it's amazing man you know being that bomb that called
my mom for twenty dollars and come up with the most bodacious lie you can imagine you know card will fell off a
car and went through a car behind me and the guy said give him 20 bucks he won't sue me you know just anything I could
say to get twenty dollars knowing she's like there's no way there's no way this has happened but here if you say it
happened it happened tell him here's your twenty dollars and I don't have
to do that anymore I don't I'm grateful for that that is but yeah, it's an it's been a
big difference you know her not answering the phone on her birthday to um
me taking her out to dinner that sounds huge well I think that that
concludes our time thank you for joining us thanks for having me I appreciate it I know our audience is
going to pick so much so many nuggets and you're so descriptive you want to talk about vulnerable times and
I think that one of the important things is saying you know I'm still a human I'm still going through things yeah there's
good days there's not as a good days everything's not the greatest yeah I'm
not inviting you over to my team you're able your mom's picking up you're like
they're it's just all the things in life yeah that we don't take for
granted that we're like oh okay like this is that I can actually like put like my emotional energy towards this
instead of coming up with the story and those things yeah we're very
grateful to you're able to join us yeah thanks for having me all right anytime
I'm looking forward to the future with you guys absolutely we are we are as well
to you or someone you know shop on amazon.com if so please consider
choosing Voices for Voices for your charity of choice through the Amazon smile program we have the easy to follow
instructions at voicesforvoices.org backslash Amazon Dash smile
there are zero fees and it's a hundred percent free to do both things that I
like no fees free to do easy to do thank you as always for joining us
for this episode of the Voices for Voices podcast and a huge thank you for
our guest today Matt Oakes from Legends recovery we're just thrilled
to have you share your wisdom your lived experience and I know you're going to
help more than one person through this this podcast until next time I am Justin Alan Hayes
founder and executive director of Voices for Voices host and humanitarian we hope
you have a great day and please be a voice for yourself or somebody in need
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