Muscles, Clubs, and Cold Pills —How Chasing External Approval Nearly Cost Me My Life

January 24, 2025 Justin Hayes

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In this episode, we delve deep into a personal narrative that touches on the intersection of fitness, social pressures, and mental health. The journey starts with the common chase for physical perfection, often portrayed as the ideal standard among our peers. As a young male eager to fit in, the quest for bigger muscles led to an obsessive relationship with supplements that promised fast results. Regular trips to supplement shops became commonplace, with each new product appearing to offer something I was still lacking: validation. But in striving to look the part, I failed to recognize the importance of what was happening within.

Growing up and navigating through adolescence is filled with challenges, particularly for young men who often equate physical strength with self-worth. The notion of being "ripped" is heavily influenced by societal expectations, fueled by social media portrayals of success. As I reflect on my high school and college experiences, the connection between self-esteem and physical appearance becomes all too clear. It wasn’t just about fitness; it was a desperate need to feel important and accepted in a world that often judges based on appearances.

This obsession drove me toward not only rigorous workout regimes but also unhealthy lifestyle choices, including excessive partying and substance use. The social scene revolved around clubs, where the idea of being intoxicated was synonymous with enjoyment. Here, the peer pressure to engage with drugs and alcohol peaked, highlighting another layer to the struggle. The euphoric highs of club life were enticing, but the realities often hid darker undertones.

Disappointingly, my reckless choices culminated in a hospital visit after experimenting with over-the-counter pills, which painted a distressing picture of my well-being. This near-tragic event marked a turning point, prompting reflection on the choices I had made regarding health and social lifestyle. I liken this moment to a wake-up call—one that pushed me to reconsider the direction in which I was heading. Did being accepted socially outweigh my health? That thought haunted me deeply.

The transition from reckless partying to academic focus did not come without its hurdles. It was a hard pivot, but with time, I learned to strike a balance. Attending university brought about a newfound appreciation for education and the realization that I wanted more for myself. My grades began to improve, serving as evidence of this positive shift. However, I couldn't ignore how much I was pushing myself and the coping strategies I began to adopt for handling stress.

This brings us to a fascinating part of my journey: the introduction of more holistic approaches to health. I met an inspiring friend, an exercise science major, who introduced me to healthy eating habits and supplements that were beneficial rather than harmful. Incorporating flaxseed oil and other nutrient-rich foods not only improved my physical health but also enhanced my cognitive functions. This was a game-changer, as I realized the importance of treating my body well could coincide with a fun social life.

The episode concludes on a contemplative note, emphasizing the importance of self-care and the continuous quest for equilibrium in life. The analogies drawn from my experiences will resonate with those who find themselves facing similar struggles, whether around fitness, socializing, or mental wellness. Looking back, the journey reflects a battle between societal perceptions and personal well-being—an experience that shapes character and promotes growth. As I prepare to continue this narrative in the next episode, I invite you, the listener, to take your matters into your own hands. Take the time to consider how you treat your body and mind and recognize that while validation can sometimes come from external sources, ultimately, it must come from within.

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Muscles, Clubs, and Cold Pills —How Chasing External Approval Nearly Cost Me My Life | Episode 167

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