The Voices for Voices TV Show and Podcast Episode 53 with Guest, Angel Dague

Welcome to the Voices for Voices TV Show and podcast

sponsored by Redwood Living

thank you for joining us today

I am Justin Alan Hayes founder and

executive director of Voices for Voices

host and humanitarian

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if so, you can reach out to us today via

email at president@voicesforvoices.org

now I founded Voices for Voices to

provide a platform for folks to share

their stories with others as we work to

break the stigma around mental health

accessibility and disabilities while

also helping people get the help they

need and also helping prepare and or

transition into the workforce with the

Voices for Voices Career Center

where we connect Talent with opportunity

for job Seekers and employers from coast

to coast and in every industry and job

level

and who can forget about merchandise

the Voices for Voices merchandise shop

is up and running at

voicesforvoices.org forward slash shop

where shipping and is always free again

all donations are one hundred percent

tax deductible

and lastly before we jump into today's

episode I wanted to announce the third

annual a brand-new day Gallup fundraiser

which is going to be held on Friday

October 13th, 2023, from 6 30 pm to 8 30

p.m. it will be held at the Leona Farris

Lodge which also can be referred to as

the Silver Springs Lodge

and this will be at the address of 5027

Stow Road Stow Ohio 44224

and you will have seen our keynote

speaker on a previous episode of the

Voices for Voices podcast Mr. Dan flowers

he's the president and CEO at the

Akron-Canton Regional Food Bank

and we're also going to be giving this

year's 2023

Voices for Voices ambassador of the Year

award to the honorable Judge Allison bro

she works in the Summit County Court of

Common Pleas and works with the hope

court as a Founder in the felony area

we're going to have music we're going to

have American sign language

interpretation English from our Kent

State University sign language

interpreters that join us from time to

time as their class schedule allows

we're going to raffle baskets we're

gonna have artwork and it's going to be

all around a great time it will be in

person as well as live stream throughout

the world like our past two have been

tickets for this are 150 dollars per

person

or a table of six is seven hundred fifty

dollars so if you or your organization

is interested you can find more

information on our website

voicesforvoices.org or you can also

check that out on one of our social

media platforms

and again all donations all ticket

sales raffle basket ticket sales

donations are tax deductible tax

deductible as Voices for Voices is a 501

c83 non-profit charity organization

so let's get into today's episode I am

pleased to be joined by Angel Dague thank

you for joining us today thank you for

having me absolutely excited to talk

to you talk about your story your

experiences how

that began to change in into more of a

positive yes and then it gives some

inspiration to those not only here in

Northeast Ohio but we do have followers

across the world so there are there are

going to be people that you're going to

be touching and reaching on multiple

levels audio video TV transcript so do

you want to maybe get into a little bit

of your background your history or maybe

call it maybe the lower points and

they'll work our way up to absolutely

great absolutely thanks again for having

me absolutely so

on April Fool's Day I will be

celebrating 15 years sober so that's

just been like so unbelievable for me

congratulations thank you so much so it

it started

I literally grew up in Hartville Ohio I

think I might have been five when I

moved there

and we had a pool in the backyard and

all the neighbors were family

and I never felt different until I found

out

that we were going to be transferred to

Arizona Flagstaff Arizona and it's the

first time that I remember in my life

feeling fear and I was getting ready to

turn 13.

and I don't I don't think I ever

thought about it before but like I had

this like flaming red hair and freckles

and but like I said I grew up with

all the people that I'd been went to

Lake with and so fear came in and at

the time I don't know that I really

understood the power of the tongue

definitely spoke much death over my

life I feared what the kids were

gonna think

I feared how I was you know would I

have friends would they what would they

think I'm ugly or we get out there and

my mom holds me out for probably a week

before I go to school it was a huge move

for all of us

so anyway we go, and she puts me in

school and all that stuff happened and I

got teased and bullied and called names

and I just remember really shrinking

into myself

and I got introduced to alcohol and they

said it wouldn't be wouldn't feel

like I felt and there it wasn't peer

pressure for me I didn't want to feel

that way and so I began to drink I hated

the taste of it I would force it down

but it was the feeling after I didn't

feel scared I didn't feel ugly I didn't

feel all those things because I had took

all the lies that people were telling me

and I shoved them deep inside of me and

I made that my truth and so from that

point I met a guy who was you know

interested in some things that I

shouldn't have been interested in that

time of my life and instead of saying no

I won't do those things

he told me if I didn't then he'd find

somebody that loved him, and I got afraid

for him to leave

and so then my life pretty much got

based on living in fear I was afraid to

lose things so that so that I

compromised I compromised myself I

always believed in Jesus

I always knew he loved me I just felt

like he had better things to do than

than me and so I kind of got way off the

Narrow Path so then I began drinking and

I began um

smoking marijuana

eventually I got introduced to crack

um

I did cocaine for a little while before

that my nose would bleed all the time

and instead of really thinking in my

head like I should probably stop my

thinking was like I need to go to

something I can do better something that

won't make my nose bleed something and I

thought I could control everything

so I got on crack, and it got it

got a little weird in the beginning I

wasn't really

all the way in it and I really feel

today in my life that the enemy can

really get a foothold by just doubt and

and showing something that may not be

all the way truth

and so later on in my life when I got

back on crack it took me to a level I

never believed I could go to

so I got involved with boys giving

myself away losing myself inside

becoming really empty and just trying

to grab what the world offered trying to

shove it inside of me thinking that it

would make me full which what it did was

make me empty

so I chased and chased and chased

after the world

pretty soon I didn't feel I had no

self-worth no self-esteem I really

literally talked down to myself all the

time

so I met this guy, and we were gonna

you know live happily ever after so

in some events of you know him coming

to get us and we went

to go to this watering hole that

everybody went to in Sedona we

made this bet I bet he wouldn't come get

us he ended up showing up I put myself

on the line I always bet myself I always

put myself out there I've you know and I

learned that giving myself away could

give me the things that I thought I

craved but anyway so he came and got us

and after we got done you know we had we

met up and went to this hotel and I

gave myself away and two weeks later I

found out he was gonna marry someone

I didn't even really know about it at

the time I can't say it was totally

oblivious but I didn't think they were

going to get married and it just brought

me into a really deep dark place but my

fear of leaving now wasn't afraid to

lose him my fear was his abuse and what

he would do if I did leave him so all my

life I've been in relationships that

were either

physically abusive or emotionally

abusive and emotionally abusive I

literally would want them to be physical

abusive because the stuff they would say

would get inside of me and it would just

rip me up and I couldn’t get it

to

like were physical things would heal

that that wouldn't heal

and so I lived a life

literally hating myself

so we ended up he went to prison and

I literally went down to the county jail

to marry this guy because his wife got

and you know she got smart I guess is

the best way I can put it she left

she was tired and I married him and

then I moved to Tucson to be closer

and it was

just a ray of just staying out of my

mind all the time with mood altering

substances still drinking even though I

hated it

at this point in time I wasn't back

on crack yet but I was doing

ecstasy pills you name it I was taking

whatever would keep me out of my mind

and during all this going on I get a

call from my dad and he wanted me to

move back to Ohio and I was like oh yeah

you know well actually let me back up I

first got a call from my mom and um

sadly my mom was the one that I used I

used the love that she had for me

against her to get the things because I

became self-centered and selfish and I

even lived that for a long time

coming into sobriety and it wasn't until

the Lord truly got a hold of my heart

for me to start really letting things

die off of me but anyway so my dad

called after my mom because I was like

yeah, I don't really want to go back to

Ohio but when my dad called me and my

dad had struggled my dad had was raised

in abusive verbally abusive home okay so

my dad only knew what to give what he

had been taught I'm a firm believer you

can't give what you don't have and so we

struggled in that area but when he

called to go back to Ohio I thought man

maybe my dad does love me

you know because he did a lot of

yelling and screaming for a long time

but anyway all comes down I my dad

says he's going to help me get a brand

new car so now I'm going to move to Ohio

because that's going to fix me right so

I go through all these emotions and

during the time I literally met

well literally was supposed to meet my

best friend before I went to this I

was going back to Tucson to sell a car

that I had and then I was moving back to

Ohio and at the time

this was back in the 90s and

I wish then I knew how to be a friend

I today I I've learned through the

Lord and his word how to be a better

person and how to let go of the things

that were flesh and live in the spirit

I'm not perfectly by any means but

anyway

she had AIDS and I was afraid and

so instead of being where I was supposed

to be I avoided it was going to see her

on the way back and while I was gone, she

passed that was a huge thing in my life

I remember being in her grave and I

remembered asking God if he could hear

me

let me educate me I never wanted to

ever walk away from someone that she

needed me and I wasn't there

I learned a lot through that and um

fear is not a part of my life at all

today I don't need to fear

um

I just need to keep allowing the

agape love of God to pour down into

my heart to pour down into my heart so I

I come back from Ohio or from Arizona

and moved back to Ohio and I'm like man

oh that's all over I don't have to worry

about those fit folks anymore you know

now I'm gonna go and I'm gonna live this

great life

and I did I brought me with me

and so I got told how and I started

meeting the same kind of guys different

faces get involved in abuse getting

involved in all kinds of things and what

I learned through I remember somebody

telling me every time I went to a point

like those folks or they did this

they're like the fullest standing behind

the three that are pointing back and I'm

just like wow like I'm the problem but

it took years and years of addiction but

when I came back face to face with

crack it took me out

I got on my back, and I couldn't get

back on my feet it took me to places I

never dreamed I'd go

I know a guy I met a guy that said he

was going to protect me and he was going

to help me and he was going to be my

knight in shining armor I was always

looking for this knight in shining armor

someone to save me and little did I

know that Jesus had come and already

done that for me

so I get connected up with this guy

and he literally beat me and put me in

my first car and prostitution entered

into my life at that time and now I'm

living getting in and out of cars and

the things that happen in the streets

and the rapes and all those things that

combine in the abuse and the beatings it

it did something it broke something

inside of me

I remember walking up and down Johnston

Street or South Street or any of those

streets that I used to walk when I um

was walking in the darkness thinking

this is I'm gonna die I'm just gonna die

out here on crack prostituting this is

where I'm gonna die

and little did I know that God had

different plans for me which is like the

whole reason my life is where it is

today like nothing I've done except

surrender and keep getting in the word

and keep building a relationship

and growing closer to Christ

so an events I end up in this place

over by the

well it used to be where they used to

keep the Goodyear blimp okay and I was

with a guy that picked me up off the

street and all of a sudden, these cops

just come and they surround us

and just remember this is where God

rescued me and I didn't want to believe

that for a long for a long time at that

moment when it all happened, I thought

this is horrifying I want to keep using

now I remember one night being out and I

just lifted my hands up and I said God

save me or kill me but don't let me live

like this anymore and then I remember

being getting arrested and saying No

this this isn't what I want God this

isn't the way I wanted to be saved but I

wanted it my way and I'm not even sure

what my way was but anyway this night

this day we end up and we get surrounded

by all these police and

I remember stepping out the car and

um

God sent a chariot that day it looked

just like a Summit County Paddy Wagon

but he rescued me

it was March 31st, 2008.

I had been so beaten down at this point

I think I literally was begging death to

take me

and so I remember entering into the

Paddy Wagon and just for the first time

exhaling but I also remember that um

they arrested the guy too and he was

like there was this wall between us but

we were in this Paddy Wagon together and

I remember begging this guy to forgive

me oh wow and I thought wow looking

back and all my healing and all the

things that I went through

there was none of meat left inside I was

trying to I don't even know I don't know

what I was trying to do but

everything was always my fault I put the

whole world on me

I woke up in the Summit County Jail on

April Fool's Day of 2008 and I remember

God saying it was over I wasn't going to

use anymore and I didn't believe it I

thought man God, I don't think you know

what you're talking about there's no way

I'm going to leave here and not use

drugs

and you know the Bible says that

he'll go before us, and he just started

showing me all these things and so we

went to

I went two weeks into Summit County Jail

God showed me all these God shots I call

them God shots he would show me things

that that he was there and that he that

he had in my back, and I went over onto

Glenwood jail and I remember doing a

visit with my mom the one person in this

world that should have never believed

anything I said yeah

and we were sitting about six blocks

from each other on the you had to sit um

so many blocks on the floor okay and I

remember telling my mom I know you're

tired of me saying it but this time I'm

going to show you and my mom looked

at me and she said, and I said I'm done

mom and she said I know and that was

another God shot I needed somebody that

was in my corner and he picked my mom

like that was amazing for me

time went on I stayed in Summit County

or I stayed in the Glenwood jail till I

think I did 190 days in there and I went

to a program called Legacy three um

ended up getting

successfully discharged from there

because these women that that were at

Legacy three

they believed in me I don't know why

I don't know I mean it had to been God

showing things in me that I couldn't see

myself but others could

and I just remember people saying

over and over to me you are going to

help you're gonna help women lots of

women I thought man I don't even I don't

even like women I don't want to help

women I don't want to help anybody I

can't barely help myself

but the Lord had ignited in me when I

Rose off that bed on April Fool's Day in

the Summit County Jail it started a

spark that is now a forest fire to help

women trapped where I used to be there's

a way out and his name is Jesus and

through this um

life that I've lived on this side of

these 15 years I've had to go to a lot

of counseling I've had to do a lot of

things to heal and get better I lost my

dad on December 2nd, 2020, to covid I had

to watch my dad suffocate to death on a

video and I had but I didn't want my dad

to be alone and me and my sister and my

brother were there on video with my dad

any of those things could have been a

reason to go back until I understood

that this life don't belong to me it

belongs to God and that I'm here to live

out that life and four days before my

dad passed he gave his life to Christ I

will see my dad again

I've lost a lot of people on this side I

work with women that were trapped where

I used to be, and drugs are viciously

taking thousands of people I've lost

some people that the world's

different today without them

but I hope that their struggle is

finally over

um

I love the Lord he's the one that got me

to where I'm at there's no convincing me

of anything different

so I worked for a place called Rahab

and um

my thing that I tell them all the time

when the ladies first come through the

door that's never been there

you're stuck with us because I believe

that family is what's going to help us

all grow I know that addiction is an um

it's a problem but it's also can be

cured and his name is Jesus

I know that he can do all things I can

do all things through Christ

I know that he's the only way he's the

light and he's the life and although

I'm not anywhere near perfect and never

will be

I'm going to keep getting up

repenting and going back to the face of

God and walk out whatever it is that he

has for my chapters here while I'm on

this earth oh my gosh that's so powerful

thank you for being yes so transparent

and getting in back in those emotions I

know it's not easy and uh

for those that may know somebody that

may be in the dark place that are on

the fence of should I go talk to

somebody should I not

what would be maybe those baby

steps that would be since you know it

took multiple attempts to the tries for

yourself multiple what could you

share that might be helpful maybe some

signs and some little things if you okay

if I now looking back if I didn't do

this

and it might resonate with viewer

listener

so there's a lot of things now that I

wish I would have paid attention to back

then

um

where I picked up a mood mine altering

substances

only made my life much worse than the

problem that I was facing

you know I think whatever we're

brought to God will bring us through so

for people that are struggling or people

are out here trying to help other people

I believe the biggest thing to start

with is prayer

we have to let the Lord intervene in

the hearts to draw them towards him

but you want to be a listener

listening was huge for me that people

would literally listen and not judge

me for the life that I was living or

that I was just coming out of

and even coming in not holding

yourself don't hold guilt and shame

inside yourself let that stuff go

um

being alongside be somebody that they

they can that they know they have to

walk forward with them that was huge for

me

my mentor Becky she was there she

listened she walked with me she got in

the word with me

she never judged how I had lived that

was huge for me I'd always had fingers

pointed at me and from in a lot of times

it was places of people that claim to be

Christians

I mean that was really hard

but yeah, I would say to start praying

and be that person be their person

and don't give up on them don't give

up on them but don't enable them don't

enable them yeah so, the work you do

now how fulfilling is that to you

know emotionally compared to where you

you were where there is a lot of maybe

emptiness and

doing things for physical reasons and

and short-term gratification versus now

the spiritual and emotional how does

that make you feel it makes me feel like

a roller coaster I've never rode it's up

and down and through the valleys and up

over the mountains and because

I mean I'm in a place I'm in a hood

where there's a lot of death but I'm

also seeing Jesus literally picking

people out of the ashes out of the

darkness and setting their feet on Solid

Rock I'm seeing people being redeemed

I'm seeing people coming back to life

I'm seeing dead bones have life breathe

back in them and to be a part of just a

little, tiny part that God would even

trust me to be with his daughters

is a feeling that I can't even put my

finger on I don't even think there's

words to explain

um

but wow I just I'm thankful to God that

he would trust me to be a part of

being family with his daughters that are

that are lost and even ones that are

coming too and

watching them get their kids back and

some of them get married and

some of them go back to school and I

mean I could go on forever the things

that I've seen and the heartache still

real

losing the people because you love

them

but you know I've learned through this

walk that I can't stay stuck

I have to keep

helping the one that God puts in

front of me

yeah, now it seems that

you know that regardless of if there's up

and down the winding road you know

you're doing what you're meant to do

versus doing things for other reasons

and I think that's big to do

something that unfortunately took a lot

of tough experiences for you to go

through but to get to that point to do a

job that you love that when you wake up

you want to do it versus something

that I'm doing it for the money or I'm

doing it for XYZ reason and I think

that's something to say hang

your head a little bit on because we

also have job Seekers and college

students and for them to not

always look for the title not always

look for what's going to make them feel

the best today and help them do one

thing but it's okay how do I see myself

literally

when I leave the world how am I going to

be thought of and nobody lives forever

nobody gets to take anything with them

nothing and I think that's huge for

you to be able to share that the

emotional side of things that there were

days in the past where that wasn't there

yeah, now that it is there you're not

letting that go

[Music]

on my Facebook it says where I work

hustling souls for Jesus yes

and speaking of that how can people

having listeners viewers people read

in the transcript watching us on

TV how can they learn more about you and

the work that you do and follow

you if you don't mind

no my name is Angel Dague last name

d-a-g-u-e

I'm on Facebook I can't remember I think

I have a lion

is my Facebook I can't really

remember I change it so much so that's a

good way to get a hold of me I'm always

on there I believe it should totally be

used for encouragement and just

like what you're doing you know asking

people questions and having people share

things in the struggles but the

Redemption and the and the beauty that

God brings through the darkness and

brings you back into the light

my email is angeldague@yahoo.com

absolutely

um

uh you can get a hold of me that way and

then through those ways I can give my

phone number I don't really want to give

it this way no I don’t know do that

great well Angel thank you so much for

your time yes thank you thank you for

sharing kind of going back in time

and now you're reaching very soon

that that 15-year Market yes being sober

and yes, I know as somebody that's going

on six years it's huge it is huge

very huge and it's not something it

should be overlooked no never not even

if you have 24 hours celebrate every

minute that you're sober absolutely amen

so thank you again for taking the high

five for Jesus

so we just want to thank everybody who

has been with us for this episode of

the Voices for Voices podcast and we

definitely want to give a special thank

you to Our Guest Angel Dague and you can

learn more about her at the on the

platforms and the contact information

and we'll include that in the show notes

for you so until next time I am Justin

Alan Hayes, I hope you have a great day

and be a voice for you or somebody in

need

[Music]

[Applause]

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