The Voices for Voices Podcast Episode 39 with Guest, Author, Speaker and Law Changer, Kathy Picard

Welcome to the Voices for Voices podcast sponsored by Redwood Living

thank you for joining us today I am Justin Alan Hayes founder and

executive director of Voices for Voices host and humanitarian

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where shipping is always free and again all donations are 100 percent tax

deductible today please join me in welcoming today's guest

award-winning author and inspirational speaker from Ludlow Massachusetts

Kathy Picard thank you for joining me today, Kathy

thank you for the opportunity to speak Justin we go way back and it's

quite an honor to see Voices for Voices grow and as it needs to be you know it

needs to be able to help other people and that's what it's all about networking is huge and we need to offer support help and resources to all that we can like I said so that you can reach your Millions goal and you can do it anybody can and one of the things that I

say is never say never you know baby steps take it a little bit at a time and

that's where you started and look where you are today, I'm so proud of you oh thank you and for our viewers for our

listeners if you're reading our transcripts or captions Kathy does go way back with voices for

voices when we were a once-a-year event, and she was one of our keynote speakers

where she was able to as she has and continues to do share her message her

experiences and continue to empower and Inspire individuals not only in

Massachusetts through legislation which I'm sure she'll touch on a little bit

but also through books through words through pictures and she never

takes time off but probably like me and that's because we do, we

believe that we can help as many people as we have as a vision and so when we

get a call or an email or a text to be able to share our messages

I know that Kathy is definitely a person that I want to be able to give

the platform to now that we are have morphed into the non-profit or

organization that we are today so Kathy why don't why don't we start uh

the conversation with your experiences and what has brought you

to the point where we met and had

you speak at our event way back a couple years ago and then we can

transition to what's happened since what's on the outset for you what

how can people find more about you about your work and just learn how

to be inspired sure I appreciate this very much so

again I'm from Ludlow Massachusetts and my story is like many stories

sexual abuse so I was abused as a child from the age of seven until I was

17 years old today I'm 60 years old the thoughts the feelings they never go away

but by talking about it that helps by getting the right people in your circle

that helps but you just have to like I mentioned before you have to take baby steps so being sexually abused as a

child that was not in my plans I did not know what to do I did not think that it

was wrong I just I was getting Love by my stepfather, and I thought that it was

okay you know I was getting told the words I love you my mother never said those, but my stepfather would give me

the gifts The Grooming process that you hear that all took place, and it would continue on again until I

was 17 years old and at 17 years old that's what I found out that my stepfather was not my

biological father and my mother said I didn't have to have you if I didn't want to, and I said well

what are you talking about and that's when she just disclosed that he's not your real father

and so he would approach me and have say Kathy one more time let's

you know being abused and I said this has got to stop it's not right I used my

voice to put an ending to it and he begged and begged one more time Kathy and I said if you keep on asking, I'm

going to tell and that's when my abuse stopped so it's using your voice that's why voices for

voices is so important because it is really an important thing to do it's important to use your voice and I as a

young girl I never had that opportunity I never was told in school that you

should tell you should tell your parents you should tell your teacher go to the police department you know I never was

that was never on my agenda of what to be told what I should do in fact my

stepfather who was the abuser was an auxiliary police officer, so I was even more petrified if I go to the police

department who are they going to believe are they going to believe me or him being one of them so that was one of the

reasons why I did not go to the police department and people say you know they blame the victim

why didn't you tell well I did tell I told when I was nine years old, I told my

grammy my mother's mother and you know what she said she said Kathy we don't talk about this

so I thought that what he was telling me to shut up don't talk about it if you talk about it your parents are going to

get divorced it's going to be your fault your sisters are going to go here you're gonna go there your dog's gonna be taken

away you're going to be in a foster home, so I was petrified and not only that but

him being an auxiliary cop being threatened with the gun in the home being told you're going to be shot I

mean why would this little girl that was me tell when I was being threatened so

at 17 years old when it when the abuse stopped, I still didn't really go forward

but I told my Aunt Judy my mother's my mother's sister and she in fact said again don't talk

about it because she was very afraid of my stepfather my stepfather was an

alcoholic and a lot of people were afraid of him, so he was just a big bully

to many people so I didn't tell, and I kept the secret because my Aunt Judy

said Kathy if you want to talk to me, you can but please don't tell anybody else promise me and so I didn't tell anybody

else my Aunt Judy passed away in 2000 and I kept that promise as soon as Judy

passed my first stop I took off I went to the police station filed a report

because at that time I was still afraid of this big bully monster, but I kept on telling everybody I told

my workers I told my neighbors I told my friends I told everybody and I still

have not stopped since then so my voice is being told as you mentioned Justin I've reached as far as Serbia doing a

zoom in Serbia because they're more upon the speed of Technology during the covid

time so I reach out to as many people as possible by zoom in person and you know

and sharing things that I've accomplished in my life you know going out I speak at the police academy I

educate our police officers and they need to hear it from a Survivor that your voice and your eye contact are

extremely important and maybe that person's not ready to disclose their abuse for obvious reasons that I know as

a Survivor they may not understand it but when that person's ready they are

going to remember your actions that you really show code that you cared and

that's very important but not only going out and speaking I speak at Correctional Facilities I speak

to ours to the staff yes level two and level three sex offenders and people like you're crazy how do you go in and

talk to these predators and I'm like they need to know what a Survivor has

gone through and it's very important so going to universities but I go to

where I'm asked to go and it's really healing not only for me but for

other people to see that yes, I was sexually abused for 10 years and one

time is too much but I have made something of it I have not let that kept

me behind because I deserve a happy healthy life, I've been married for twenty-five

years to my soulmate Gary who supports me who's there for me and you don't need

to take somebody that that's not deservable of you deserve to be happy just like I am you know not to be

in a domestic violence situation you don't deserve that so don't put that

Band-Aid that oh I don't deserve it yes you do and sometimes it may take time I

didn't get married until I was thirty-five you know sometimes good things take time is what I always say

but I did I helped to change the laws in Massachusetts and that was huge

achievement of mine going forward after being told there's nothing, I can do about it

because the time has expired for me to take my stepfather through a trial and

get the justice that I deserve, and I did do that I fought I called I emailed I

even had one Aid say Kathy you're bothering me I'm like too bad you need to do your job I'm a taxpayer you need

to do your job don't tell me that I'm hounding you, so I did I changed the civil and the criminal

statute of limitations in Massachusetts and they were huge June 26, 2014, the

statute of limitations the time frame when someone can go forward actually

change from 21 years to a person being 53 years old that was a huge jump that's

the Civil that's means monetary the Predator does not have to register as a

sex offender nor do jail time which I still believe that they need to register

for a sex offender these bills are still being looked at still being hopefully

going to change the criminal change on September 21st, 2006, that

was extended where a victim has until the age of 43 years old to go forward

that would entail having to register as a sex offender and jail time I could not

do the criminal but I was able to follow suit with the Civil the monetary one so

my trial I had a four-day trial the laws changed in 2014. my trial was the

following year November 2nd, 2015. I had a four-day jury trial it was up to these

eight jurors to decide the fate of my stepfather and there's no proof you know I'm 53

years old when I was going through it there's no proof, but it was my word against his word and

the jurors found in favor of my story because it's the truth and that was huge again helping to

change the laws the other accomplishment Justin that I did, and the listeners is I wrote my

story my husband and I we wrote no don't laugh but it's life with my idiot family

and it's a True Story of Survival courage and Justice over childhood

sexual abuse that's my story we named it life with my idiot family

because my mother and my stepfather either called us idiots or ass holes Us

for girls growing up the book is on Audible that I spoke my

husband spoke along with my private investigator Lewis Berry; it took us five years to write this and

to say that it was not hurtful you know a lot of crying nights

but it was a story that needed to be written and I'm glad that we did do it

and I'm glad we put it on Audible my husband wrote the screenplay, and we are

hoping to get the screenplay into a movie and again Never Say Never So it

possibly could happen you just don't know but I'm working on that

the other thing is I wrote a children's book when I was a young girl my mother

my stepfather I was never read a book I was plopped down in front of the TV and

told to stay there so to write a children's book was huge for me so I did

I wrote a children's book called I love you so much that dot and it's a

really cute book it's for kindergarten you know two to six or nine-year-old

depending on where the child is in their learning stage

but it's a cute book it's an educational book and it's I love you so much that I

ask you to brush your teeth I ask you to wear a coat not to talk to strangers that your private parts are private and

a lot of the kids will say well no or why and it gives them the reasons of why

they need to do these particular lessons in my newest version the Expanded

Edition has an activity section for the kids, so it's really cool it's a

really cute book and the illustrations are very bright and engaging to the kids and actually this week I read it to 132

Kids kindergarten through third grade and through my sponsors eight sponsors

each of those children were able to take a free book home for the adult in their

life to reread it to them so that they can stay safe and that's what it's about

it's about keeping Kids Safe safer and I'm happy to say that both of my books

are on websites of common organizations including child USA child help and mass

kids of Boston so that's an honor to have them there as a resource for

parents and for teachers thank you for sharing and being so

transparent and really concise that that was amazing how I can learn a

lot from how you were able to consolidate all those just

terrible experiences that you had to go through for many years when you

did reach out and getting negative feedback of well you know we

don't talk about this and those things that children care about you know

their family staying together their pet like those things are big so

when those are held over the head yeah well if you

share if you talk to too many people and the wrong people in their eyes the uh

that some of those things could be potentially taken and I know that it

brings you kind of that cathartic process when you share your story, I'm

I don't know that I don't think you like you relive in any of those moments, but I think when the page and

the new book of the laws being changed the trial being able to speak to

our audience at our first annual Voices for Voices event and all the

police departments the prisons the jails the schools now with your latest

Expanded Edition can you just speak about how that makes you feel that you

are now helping people and kind of what keeps you motivated to do that

for you know somebody who's watching or and listening saying wow to endure

and have to go through what you did is hard enough but then to sit down and write book you know book and then do

the audio version which obviously it's audio so you're speaking the book

which is talking about the experiences that were truths and so all those

mix-mash emotions and reliving can you maybe just expand on that a little bit

yeah, Justin, you know it is hard to do some of the things I do have

guard rails in my way and as you know you know I've been fighting the

fight over 20 years and it's just very alarming with the statistics one in

every four girls before her 18th birthday and one in every six boys before his 18th birthday will have been

sexually assaulted and it's not by strangers people that are teaching stranger danger that curriculum needs to

go because ninety-three of these abusers are known to the victim

they enter into their home be it a teacher a coach a babysitter a neighbor

a friend so they are going right into the home and people may not think because they're not scary they're not

these scary looking people that you think they're going to be abusers these people you know my stepfather works for

Toys for Tots you know they just they know the games that they need to play

but one of the alarming things one of the hurtful things to me is that some of the people that I

approach and those doors are not opening and that's scary because it's not about

me it's not about teachers it's about the child you know think of me going

home from school and being that little girl being afraid wearing those feet

pajamas in the night and hope that he's not going to touch me, but he does he still Taps me on the shoulder and has me

go downstairs you know those are things that are going to happen unless we help these children

you know I don't charge for most of my speakings and it's not about the money

it's about the safety of these kids because if we don't help them, they could

not turn out like I have and be have that inspiration or you know that's why

we talk about the traumas you know them going through the drugs and the alcohol

and the suicide and the bullying that could be because they were being sexually abused you know so we need to

and I need to and I'm still doing the fight of having these schools these

superintendents these teachers allowing me to go in and read my book

and one of the things that they don't like is because on one of the pages it

says the words private parts why I'm not saying the other words so

what is what is so wrong with private parts these kids today they know they're

they're being handed condoms you know they know more than we want them to know

what their age but we need to have that conversation

and not to deprive them of being safer

it and to expand a little bit on what you're saying that the

conversation it definitely does need to happen and

as now a father of a four-year-old uh

and knowing your story and the Avenues and all the hard work and all the doors

that are open and all doors are closed and how all the different methods and

trying and trying and trying and the perseverance that you have you know I'm faced with that of

certain books and to the point about we don't like you know private parts

those words being in the book I'm thinking along those lines of do we as

parents as people that are trusted uh

let me say trustful trustworthy parents or loved ones or somebody like

yourself come in and stepping in and reading a book how do we want

the children to learn about certain things do we want them to learn from us

or do we want them to learn from their friends now there's going to be some things that

we just can't get in front of everything that when children are at school and

conversations and play time and there's things that we just some things we can't

control but some of those times where we make my wife and I still make it a point

to read to our daughter and when those

books with different types of words I just and it's just interesting is it the

last week or so there's a couple books that I picked up and I and I'm like well

do I read this to her or don't I and then but it's after the fact now that

I'm thinking well do I want to be the one to introduce or to share this

particular conversation of somebody dying you know that you know why

where's gray Grandma where's Great Grandpa in those instances are they

going to come back and in in that context of will do I want to share that

or do I want them to learn and from at

school with their friends and I think that we just need to as Society we

just need to get over that and I need to get over that personally as that and thinking

through that luckily, she's four and I'm working through that, but I can

totally understand that there are people maybe like my myself just in that

thought process of oh you know we don't want to share this we don't I don't want to get a call from a parent that says

that they were read a book and these words were used instead of saying we're actually educating them we're

sharing information we're helping the situation that you might they might not

see a result right now but it might be 5 10 15 years where something that got

conditioned into them you come in and speak in and sharing your story and reading a book and sharing experiences

that that could have a lasting impact and I know as a college instructor

the there are things that I just I don't say I throw a ton of information at them, but I do in the hopes the one or

two or three of those experiences that I've gone through the good the bad the

ugly that some of those things in addition to the vocabulary and the different

processes that that sticks with them and when I get feedback sometimes it's several years later of a student going

through a situation and them referring back to a case study that I wrote or some

experience that that I spoke about and if I hadn't done that they might have

been in a different position so for you to do what you're doing to

continue you are making people better by what you are doing and

maybe the parents are upset in the moment but to have and have their son or

daughter being taught and having this in their head that they're going to maybe

think twice if they're in a situation that they might step away

and I even I invite the parents Justin the parents can come in because I want

them to bring that conversation home and yes, I'm not the mom I'm not the dad in that relationship and I get that I get

where my place is I am just trying to give them a resource yes and I just wanted to if I may just to read that

what the wording is in the book it's the book is called I love you so much that and that particular page is I

love you and I want you to be safe so much that I want you to keep your private parts private why because

private means we don't show or share them with other people is there a time when it's okay for someone to see your

private parts and on that page is a picture of baby bear in the doctor's room with Dr a bear listening to the

baby's heart so it's okay for a doctor to for the private parts with the

permission from the parents because as we know there has been reports with doctors abusing, we just had one locally

but you want that child to be able to say with permission you may see my

private parts because you're right if an adult if a teacher if somebody doesn't

explain this to the child then you know what the perpetrator is the one that's

going to be educating this child the perpetrator is going to be able to say it's okay if you show this to me

you know because they haven't been told otherwise that it's wrong so that's why

it's important to talk about it you know one of the things that I tell the kids

when I go out and read, we interact, and we talk about other things, but I say to

the children I say I have a very important question for you are you ready and they get all excited and I said if a

stranger says to you can you come and help me find my lost puppy and I will give you

so much candy and so much money now remember this is a stranger raise your

hand if you would go and there are still some that do that I

had one little boy say my father is a police officer and of course I would go

you know but it's not a onetime any of these lessons are not a one-time conversation it's all the time talking

about it because these situations are happening all the time you know the youngest this is sad and pathetic but

the youngest that I heard is a two-month-old baby being sexually abused it does happen we don't want to

acknowledge it we don't want to talk about it we need to have these conversations we need to stop this from

happening and we need to protect our children we do and

it is it's just crazy that it's gotten you know to the to this point

where the guard really the guard rails are up towards people who are

trying to help versus the people that have

ulterior motives and I think a little bit not the exact same of course but

just with the opioid and the Fentanyl and all those things that are happening the conversations for whatever

reason that we don't want to whether it's label somebody or we don't want to

offend somebody but if the thing is actually happening it's a fact and so

when the thing in the experiences you went through, they happen so those are facts you're not sharing and

sharing information that you wouldn't if you had your own children the when

when you go and you speak and when you're when you're thinking these words through, and I know that it's just as an

author and trying to put words together which I sometimes it

takes me a little bit longer to do than other people but when

that it took you time and thoughtfulness to put that together and even thinking

about your first book it took you five years so there's lots of thought and how

how do how does this experience get said in a certain way in your husband helped

and Wordsmith and all those things and I think if people saw and heard and

understood that that it's not just you saying oh I want to go read in front of

132 students the there's a message but

there's also that thoughtfulness behind it yeah and that's what some people you

know I still I still get people there's Kathy again talking about it again it's

like you know they just don't understand the importance of it and nor do they

want to because it's too much thought it's too much for them you know I get some of the schools but what is a half

an hour to an hour me going into the school and talking to these kids I mean

what is the big deal you know again you know around the country the world they're taking books off shelves and

this and that and it's really sad they're missing a lot they're missing

these resources that really can help and I just cringe sometimes when you know

I call up superintendents and they don't even return my calls, but you know there

are laws speaking of laws there are laws in effect now bills that they're looking

at to make it mandatory that these schools do talk do touch on sexual

abuse you know like I mentioned child help child help has research based

curriculum for pre-k all the way to 12th grade to educate these kids so that it's

not scary and it works you know we are limiting some of these

numbers to lessen them i s you know I just one incident I spoke with a doctor

the other day four victims told their story to this doctor four in one day it's so common

sexual abuse is so common we need to talk about it because you

know what some of these survivors they may not be in the position I'm in right now I think I'm a very strong person

now more so than when I was a young child or a teenager, but they may not be

that strong and then go through like I said this the drugs the suicide the alcohol but and they self-blame

and I'll be honest I did self-blame I thought it was my fault I would say to

myself why didn't I tell sooner did I like it why did I not tell

but now looking back I did tell I told at nine I told it twenty-eight you know but nobody

was there to protect this little girl you know my mother knew about the abuse

even when I was a young girl, she knew what was going on and she didn't protect

her daughter and that's sad but it's very common and it's not just women it's

men too because they're a woman abusers but they don't protect and my way of

thinking about it is they want to stay in that situation for just to have someone in their life or maybe just

financial reasons but they don't protect the children and that's sad but it's

happening and that's why we need to let these kids know that if you're not getting the help in the family, you need

to tell your teachers you need to go to the police department you need to go to your neighbors your babysitter and to

the important thing is Justin is they need to keep on telling until somebody

helps them it could not be a one-time shot deal just like counseling if you go

to a counselor and you and you that counselor failed you need to keep going to another

counselor to get the help that you need, and I'll just say one example that I had

I went to a counselor and this counselor as soon as I walked in, she's looking at the clock and I

thought oh I must be bothering her I gotta hurry up and tell my story and

then when I told her my story her advice to me was Kathy you need to forget about

it and go on with your life and I'm like okay I'm paying you a twenty copay and

you're telling me to forget about it well I never returned to that counselor and my way of counseling that's helped

me is talking and I feel like I'm just helping other people helping myself

and you know I'm not saying not to say that I don't see a counselor because I

do maybe once or twice a year I do see a counselor because everybody needs some kind of help every now and then right

not to be ashamed of it and it's a male counselor and I never thought that I

would feel comfortable telling my complete story but I do share it and I

have shared it with my male counselor who in fact took the stand during my

trial and was there to support me during my four-day jury trial wow if somebody is

going through a situation similar to yours or another

illegal not right not moral what however want to classify what are the steps that

they can take that now in you because you were doing it throughout

the years but now the just the explosion of social media and this information

being put 24 7 365 in front of everybody how

how and what should they what should somebody do, who should they talk to how

should they continue when you talked about you know talk and share until somebody listens who would be maybe like

the individuals to like that they should go through or

work with like I don't know what to do like do I call them police right away or do I tell if my mom my dad my aunt my

grandma if you touched on that a little bit yeah, I just think what they need to

do obviously is I've been saying this during the conversation is to is to tell

keep on telling don't shut upkeep telling until you get the

answers that you need going to your local police department going to D.A seeking an attorney you

could call an attorney the first time is usually consultation is free but if you don't

get the advice that you're looking for don't stop and I'll tell you the

first attorney I called because I knew I wanted to get Justice, and this is again

pathetic but I called this attorney's office, and I said the laws are going to change I want to go forward to get

Justice and show accountability on his part the attorney said to me

a well-known attorney for sexual abuse cases does your family have money

and I said no, and he said well I'm sorry I can't take your case

I'm like that was as bad as advice as the counselor but that's why I'm saying

sometimes these people just don't get it they don't know they have the wrong

language for you so you have to keep on going be your own advocate

go out take it one day at a time don't plan on doing it all in one week because it's

not going to happen and you're only gonna you're gonna you know it's you need to self-help you need to as I would

say eat that gallon of ice cream go for that walk talk to that friend you need

to self-help and just do-little baby steps and maybe one week you're okay you

can talk about it then the next week you just need time to yourself and that's okay because I've been on that roller

coaster too up and down up and down but today I don't shut up as you know but

yeah so, I think just find that person get that you know right advice you can

check out the laws you again one of the sources I gave

you child USA they will share with you on that particular website all of the

laws the statute of limitations for all the different states so there is a lot

of information out there you can reach out to myself my website is

kathypcard.com my children's website is I love you so much dot org you can reach

out I'm on Facebook I'm not too tech savvy Twitter and Instagram but more

or less on Facebook but reach out to me my email I'm

happy to share it is Kathy with a k and a y child advocate gmail.com again I

don't know all the answers I don't know of anybody that does know all the answers, but I have a lot of resources

that I am happy to share with your listeners and I appreciate that and

please send those email to me so we'll be able to include in our show

notes and then that will go into the search engines and route that way as well

and again to Kathy's Point she may not have every single answer but she a

has the unfortunate experience of going through the situation and the

experiences itself as well as the people to talk to reach out

resources to start and I think that's important because I know just to

bring it back to my own experience with kind of my mental health struggles

before I ended up getting emitted and getting the help there

were so many Hoops to jump through of have to go to a family physician then

the family physician has to refer and there's that period of time like well I don't I don't know if I want to do that

like it's an extra step and so just that thought process as well as all the

additional tests and then when I decided that I think I might need to talk to

somebody other than a family physician which they are trained but just not in in that the specialty that I need and

and I was being told well it would be a couple months until you're able to be

seen by a specialist and you have to be referred which meant I'd have to go back to the family physician

to be referred and then obviously then insurance comes in well what

insurance do you have oh well we don't carry that or and so there's definitely

just in life there's always Hoops to go through and a big reason that I want

to have and having Kathy what with us today in in our new voices for

voices podcast format to have her episode televised as well as on our

YouTube and all audio platforms and the transcripts is she has that tenacity

that perseverance the never give up so if it's sexual abuse if it's something

different that a message of takeaway is to just

continue calling continue emailing and I think that transitions

into the work that you're doing the reading in the schools the speaking

opportunities the podcast like ours and others that you you've been on to just taking those opportunities that

made those opportunities didn't happen 10 years ago or at a specific time but

when they come you like me is like okay yeah, I'll do that let me let me let me

get my availability and let me do that because they're so passionate about what we do and what we're the message

that we're sharing and I and I think for listeners for viewers

readers to just to know that yes there's somebody that has that tenacity that

perseverance that it really is trailblazing and has trailblazed the way

that you've already enabled and had legislation that has changed to the

positive for the victim and so you've done a lot a lot of phone calls a

lot of emails a lot of in-person visits and other communication methods

just to be heard and there will be sometimes as you've mentioned the doors

will shut for whatever reason but when that door opens, and it might seem like

wow do I really want to share to this potential event or to this person like

who's that really going to help but in the end of the day that leads to in just

the way life happens it leads to other opportunities to be able to share and in your case to be able to share through

the words on the page and through pictures and speaking opportunities

to be able to read where read to students versus

the years back the things they and the methods that we use they just change

over time whether it's covid where we're able to bring you into the studio through Zoom now if Kobe wouldn't have

happened I don't know if the opportunity if the conversion would have

happened as seamless as it has but when that happens it's like oh my gosh I

we need to get people that are as passionate as we are the opportunities

to share so while we might not be the largest podcast, we still have a

reached as throughout the United States and other countries and for you to

have reached Serbia and through the event that you spoke for

Voices for Voices a couple years ago we had feedback from Singapore and as

you know Allison one of our speakers she's in Australia and I'm and maybe

some of those connections you're able to touch base and they're able to share a post or like and be able to do

things that way that it doesn't always have to be money it can be little things of wow like I have a network that I can

share this and it might be seen by somebody that could have a use for

it and then an email or a call could happen, and it might be in a day it might

be in a month it might be in six months we just don't know but you're you are a prime example of that perseverance and

I think it's just amazing that there are people like you and I out there that

we might not get the airtime as other may be talking Heads other

individuals and we're trying to do a heck of a lot of good in the time that we have here on Earth because you

know we want to we want to leave kind of our Network and our lives and the

people and yeah, we want to have that that letter leave our Legacy behind, and you know

right after right before going through the trial I want to share that you know I had a brain tumor my doctor had called

me in and said you know I was feeling dizzy, and my doctor's office see they didn't even know they said you have

vertigo and I said no something's wrong and I'm not even a doctor but everybody knows their own body and so they didn't

MRI and I had a brain tumor and right after the trial I had that removed and

knock on wood but thank God I'm good I'm good I've got a lot more to do and

like you said we need to leave a legacy behind and there are some people that are here on Earth that they don't do

anything and I mean if I were to pass tomorrow, I'd be happy because I know that I made a

difference and you're right sometimes we don't know who we touch you know some

people reach out some people don't we might get a call tomorrow we might get a call in five years but it's about we

know that we have helped people how many we don't know but we know that

our stories our voices can truly help so many that's why we

don't shut up Justin we keep going that's right and you know my book

the children's book is in a couple months by then it should be done but I

actually am making it into bilingual so it's going into Spanish, and I've been

asked to put it in Portuguese but I said you know it all costs money right yeah

so I am I am making it into a bilingual book so I'm very happy about that so if that and you know if the

movie could take place my husband could retire and but right now he's got to work

because somebody's got to pay the bills, but you never know you know I put my

pants on just like these actors and actresses and you know never say never you know and

just take it one step at a time don't say oh I wish I didn't do that you

know self-blaming is huge you know I wish I didn't do that well

would have could have should have you don't know there's a reason behind everything and sometimes we don't know

that reason for years to come but sometimes things happen, and they happen

for a reason and it's out of our control but just know that you are doing the

right thing by stepping forward and sharing your story and getting the help that you need or that you can do for

somebody else you know help somebody else don't be selfish you know if that person if somebody

comes to you and says I want to talk to you take the time then because that person

if you walk away that person is going to say I forgot about it I don't remember

it wasn't important it was important because they approached you and be that

person for them that is one thing that I always tell people if somebody wants

your help please listen to them right then and there listening is free doesn't cost anything

if somebody is asking to speak with you speak to you to me there's a

reason there's something on their mind it could be serious or could not be serious but there is a

reason and I just want to reiterate to our audience our listeners or

viewers if you are in a leadership position if you

have the ways the means please reach out to Kathy for speaking

appearance to come to your classroom to read her children's book

that really is helpful and it's positive change that need needs to

happen and what better way is to help at a younger age to help them a

little bit earlier in life so that can help them later in life instead of after

potential negative bad experiences legal

things have happened if you're a university president and a professor uh

if you own an organization sexual abuse happens in the workplace too, please

reach out to Kathy her information as well as being on the podcast itself

will be her contact information ways to get in contact with her in touch with her we'll be in the in the show notes

and Kathy is and I'm not just saying this as

you know having you on the podcast but she's really a good person

and has the goodness in mind and the thoughtfulness when she is sharing her

message so if it's a word that you might not agree with that being said or in a

there's thoughtfulness and reasons and some things just have to be said

to get a point across there's only so much tiptoeing around an issue or an

experience of getting an important point across and so knowing that

there is thoughtfulness and knowing how much time goes into the work that she has and continues to do that that's

important so if you're on the fence if she's reached out to you or

somebody like her has and wants to share with students with a

church group whatever what a prison a jail it doesn't matter we're all human

beings and we can learn from somebody who unfortunately has been through some

tough experiences and again Kathy like me we're here to

help people we're not here to we're not here to hurt people we're here to help there might be some words that

get used that might sound like well that's being mean and that I don't want that to be said I just take you back to

early in our conversation where we're talking do you as a parent a teacher

somebody of importance and Authority that is doing the right thing do you want to be the person

sharing information or do you want that person that is up to up to no good do

you want them to be sharing that information again going back to Kathy's asking the students

about if a stranger came up said asking about the puppy and had a large amount

of candy would you go with them do you want Kathy and somebody that has

the good naturedness in her in the helping and want to have

prepared somebody for a potential negative situation that they could totally avoid or do you want that

stranger do you want them to be sharing that information that's really what we're what we're talking about here so I

want to want to thank you Kathy for joining us on the Voices for Voices

podcast again if you just want to maybe talk about a couple of the methods of how

people can get in contact with you sure so they can reach out

kathypcard.com is my website or my

children's book I love you so much dot org is for the children's book and

again I just want to say the children's book is also paw signed by my featured dog Abby the kids love that so

so it's really cute baby showers you know they're asking for a book now

instead of a card one request that I have for the listeners, and I ask every

time and if you could please support me and go to Amazon and do a

review of my three books that are on Amazon that helps me more than you know

to show that you to in fact support my mission and my book so to go there

and to do a review even if you put good resource that helps me to me like I tell

everybody it's like I scratched a scratch ticket that morning when I check because I check every morning did I have

a review and I'm like Yay but you could reach out that way my email is

Kathy with a K in a y child advocate gmail.com please reach out I'm on

Facebook and I want to thank you for your time, Justin

thank you, a million times, over you're welcome anytime and this won't be the

last time we're talking so I'm happy to have you to see you to see uh

the positive change that you're enacting and that you're taking that perseverance and continue and you just

continue to help one person at a time and that's one less person that has to

go through a difficult situation so we thank you for your time today and we

want to thank you our viewers our listeners checking out our transcript

for joining us on the Voices for Voices podcast and a big thank you to our

guests from Ludlow Massachusetts Kathy Picard for responding some of her

time with us today and until next time I am Justin Alan Hayes, and we hope that

you have a great day and be a voice for you or somebody in need

[Music] [Applause] [Music]

Please donate to Voices for Voices, a 501c3 nonprofit charity today at: https://www.voicesforvoices.org/shop/p/donate


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Episode 38 with Guest, Mental Health & Suicide Prevention Leader, Frank Pomata